Will you still respect me in the morning?

Should I answer interview questions? I thought that the whole idea of a blog was to remain fairly anonymous and mysterious, not letting anyone really know you, hence allowing you to write anything from meaningless drivel to Shakespeare like prose without consequence or a care in the world. An experience not unlike a one night stand where you experience the fun and excitement and don't have to deal with or worry about the touchy feely emotional stuff. Both parties (or more if you like) leave the bedroom satisfied. If you start introducing the touchy feely emotional lets-get-to-know-each other stuff, your partner is going to make a run for it perhaps even before you orgasm. I think the trick to answering the interview questions is to be creative. Make sure I'm slightly interesting and maybe a bit unusual so that visitors come back for seconds and still respect me in the morning. So this is what Karen Little asked me:

1. Define, for once and for all, your ideal man. (You're not allowed to say 'Dave Gahan')

The problem with being totally smitten with someone you will never even meet is that your expectations become really high. I guess I would have to go with what everyone else wants in a partner... Lots of money and very well endowed. What? You disagree? Ok, you are right. There is that whole money can't buy you happiness thing. So... I will have to say that my ideal man would be established or well on his way (by that I mean not still living with his mother and delivering newspapers on his bicycle), motivated, worldly and intelligent. He must have a sophisticated charm - suave, be a gentleman (I like to have my door opened for me) and a bit of humour never hurts. Jeez, I don't ask for much do I?

2. Give me your top three top fives.

That's a little vague. I could do anything. For example, top 5 #1 --- my top five pics of Dave! That's probably not what you meant. Anything to get him on my blog...

Top 5 #2 --- 5 greatest archaeological sites!

Çatal Höyük

This is an amazing site! It is possibly the first ever city. It is in ancient Anatolia - basically Turkey and is the oldest and largest Early Neolithic (about 6300BC) site. It is huge. You can't see much today except around 300 mudbrick houses. But the exciting bits lie just beneath the surface... It was one of the first farming communities and provides evidence of the domestication of animals, farming of things like lentils, cereals and peas, the making of pottery, murals and sculpture. The list goes on and on. Most importantly, it could be the first evidence of organized religion. These guys loved women. So much so that they worshipped the "Mother Goddess." She was all powerful. Now before you swoon and have visions of a Cindy Crawford-with-a-whip type goddess, this is what she looked like. Only 1 acre of the 32 acre site has been excavated so can you imagine what will be found next?

Maccu Picchu

Now this place is incredible. It formed part of the estate of the Inca king Pachacuti [AD 1438-1471] and is made up of granite buildings, streets, plazas and terraces. In case you want to go and find it, it's located 3000 ft above the Urubamba Valley of the Andes mountains in the town of Cuzco, Peru nestled between two peaks and draped in clouds. Archaeologically these people are known for their masonry. Irregular building blocks of up to 30 corners each fit together perfectly without mortar. The joints are so tight that you can't fit a knife blade between them! They are also known for some bronze goodies, worshipping the sun and being exterminated by flu in 1527.

Ur

Yes, that is the places name. A really famous city in its time and my personal favourite. It was situated in southern Mesopotamia, also known as Sumeria. Today this area is known as Iraq and Ur was where southern Baghdad is today. These people (the Sumerians) were so smart! They are responsible for almost everything from writing (cuneiform was theirs), to mathematics, astronomy, mechanics, agriculture techniques, law etc etc etc. They also built the first ever pyramid (see pic), called a ziggurat - yes, they were first, not the Egyptians. Ur was the capital and the trade gateway to the rest of the Near East. Around 2600BC its the biggest city in the world - only 65 000 people. It doesn't look like much in the picture but trust me, it was grand. Most of the treasures excavated here are at the British Museum so you can have a look there, but here is a taste.

Emporer's Qin's Terracotta Army

Everyone knows this one... The ruler Shihuangdi became the first emporer of the Qin Dynasty around 220BC. He was awesome. He standardized writing, started building the Great Wall of China, built roads and got rid of pesky feudalism. He also built a semi-subterranean mausoleum called the 'city of death.' It measures 2100 x 975 meters and inside you will find 7000 life-size sculpted clay terracotta soldiers, chariots, and horses, an admin building or two and the emporer himself of course. The amazing thing about these clay soldiers is that each face is different, individual. They are sculptures or perhaps even casts of the actual soldiers serving in this guys army. And they just stand there, eternally on guard.

Aksum

Aksum has been called Aksum since the 1st century BC. It's on the horn of Africa, in Ethiopia. Thanks to the Red Sea, it was the major trade city and therefore, trade route between Rome and the gold, ivory and yummy food of Africa. It is so important archaeologically because these people loved to write. They wrote everything down and they wrote it everywhere. Tablets by the 1000's and carved obelisks scattered all over the place. Most obelisks are now destroyed but they were huge - 500 tons each and up to 100 ft tall. So besides the very high literacy rate, these people minted their own coins, built ships and everyone knew a guy who knew a guy who could get you anything and everything. These days it's not quite like this but they do claim to have the Ark of the Covenant stashed in a tent and guarded by the Coptic monks?!

Top 5 #3 --- Things to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

I think I thought of this because I have not had a lazy Sunday afternoon in ages...

• Curl up on the couch, watch a good dvd and eat chocolate.
• Curl up on the couch, read a really good book and eat chocolate.
• Curl up on the couch and sleep for at least 2 hours because I can.
• Curl up on the couch and watch the F1 Grand Prix.
• Curl up on the couch with a guy -- the rest is censored. Then eat chocolate.

3. What exactly is your ten year plan, missy?

Plan of action:

2006 - 2009: PhD and to fit into my Depeche Mode t-shirt.

2009: Finish incredibly good and well received PhD. Receive lots of praise and job offers.

2009 etc: Change South Africa's methods in crime scene investigation and forensic analysis with regards to human burials and remains and drag them kicking and screaming into the first world technologies of forensic science. Then I think I will go and work for the United Nations and help out the genocide and mass grave investigators. Somewhere between all this I would like to write that commercial fiction novel that will make me wealthy because digging up bones will not. It would also be nice to find the man I mentioned above. No, not Dave. I am realistic. Unless you are reading this Dave in which case, I was referring to you.

4. You've been kidnapped by first years, and they won't let you go until you get a tattoo. What is it, and where?

I have always wanted a tatoo but I could never decide what it would be. For ages it was a gekko on my right boob but I figured it would look like a crocodile by the time I was 80! Then I went on a rock art expedition in the Drakensberg mountains a few years ago and we found this tiny rock art site called Christmas Shelter. It's here I saw these 3 little trance men and thought that they would make a good tatoo. I have not done it yet because then I would have three little men with elongated heads and erect penises on my body forever. Not everyone would understand that and it would get really annoying explaining it all the time! There is also the stick man motif on the Depeche Mode One Night in Paris dvd that I like a lot. So, if I were held captive and my freedom depended on a tatoo, I think it would be one of these, most likely on my lower back or shoulder blade.

5. If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be, and who would you be with?

That is easy. I don't mind where I am, although a nice warm European country is appealing right now only because I am freezing. I would like to be with my friends. They are all over the place. Pretoria, Johannesburg, somewhere in New Zealand. I miss you all terribly.